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Love, this four-letter word with many components is simple yet complex. On some aspects, you can experience feelings of blissfulness and joy but on others, it can leave you jaded. I remember conversations about love and how this culprit could make me lose myself. People would advise against such an experience stating it will make you do foolish things.

How is it that this "thing" called love gets you compared to being a fool? That is not alluring by any means. Needless to say, I was not entertained by love due to the negative connotation it sometimes possesses. These misguided words of wisdom made me afraid to experience it. Consequently, when I did toy with love I made every attempt to keep my feelings at bay. I would tell myself he needs to love me more than I love him.

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This would prevent me from experiencing detriment in the event the relationship did not last. Then, one day it happened. I went too far, let my guard down too much, and just like that I was experiencing love and enjoying it. I discovered that being vulnerable and naked without boundaries was not that bad, until the BIG BREAK-UP.

That indescribable love ended abruptly leaving me heartbroken. I felt like I had experienced heartbreak syndrome. I thought "LOVE SUCKS!" How quickly I reverted back to the lessons learned from my youth. I was angry and briefly, the break-up caused me to somehow feel bad even about myself. I always thought I was pretty solid when it came to my self-esteem & self-worth but unbeknownst to me, I was slipping into low self-esteem & the lack of self-love.

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I made a choice to remember the perks of love vs the aftermath of a broken promises. The emotions and feelings that I felt or that I feel when I'm in love are incredible. I choose to focus on the glass being half full and I am careful not lose sight of that optimism. There is hope for a person scorned by love because there was hope for me. Since that failed love I have loved again and again and again.
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